The So-Called Tea "Party" and the "Ground Zero" Mosque

First off, let me say this: you're not a fucking "party" until you have a candidate on a ballot somewhere, and next to or under that candidate's name appear the words that form the name of your goddamn 'party'.  I've never seen a ballot, be it for federal office or municipal post, with a candidate bearing a fucking "Tea Party" affiliation.  Words have meanings, and Tea 'Party' people puke them out in incomprehensible torrents of gibberish and bigotry.

Now that I have that off my chest, I want to say what I came here to say.  Let's call these 'Tea Party' ignoramuses what they really are:  angry, tired, wingeing little children grotesquely stretched into adult forms.  They look just like regular grown-up white folk, but those thick, impenetrable skulls house the minds of children.

Just as children must sometimes be forced into doing simple, everyday things (brushing teeth, putting on shoes), teabaggers must be dragged kicking and screaming into the future (desegregation, interracial/gay marriage).  Just as children say, "ew! gross!" to unfamiliar foods, teabaggers say, "no! get away!" to people and cultures unfamiliar to them.  Just as a two-year-old might strike whomever is closest because he's irritable, teabaggers are liable to blame for their troubles the first group of people passing through their field of vision that leaves an unsavory aftertaste.  Just as a child will cling to mommy and feel distrustful of all strangers, teabaggers uncritically repeat any infantile message circulated by their chosen figureheads, provided it's short and simple enough to repeat and contains neither ambiguity nor acuity.  In the same way children will play cops&robbers or cowboys&indians or jedi&sith, teabaggers categorize everything as good or bad.  They choose a team, choose an enemy, and always believe and support their team, and always disbelieve and attack their enemy. 

When I was in grade school, I once saw carved into a desk: "God is love.  Love is blind.  Stevie Wonder is blind.  Therefore, Stevie Wonder is God."  To any grade school kid, that's a joke.  To a teabagger, it's a philosophy to live by.  "The 9/11 terrorists were Muslims, they attacked the WTC towers, therefore it would be wrong to have a mosque near Ground Zero."  A syllogism that a child would snicker at seems perfectly logical to a teabagger.  I guess that's where children and teabaggers differ.  Once a child is old enough to write and laugh at a logic joke, he's already smarter and a more capable citizen than your average teabagger.