Q: Why did Barack Obama win the Presidential contest?
A: Because there were many, many people who either donated their money and/or time to get him elected, and because he totally rocks and his name is really damn fun to say and hear said.
Q: Why did John McCain lose?
A: Because there were many fewer people willing to donate their money and/or time, and because many of those who did give money saw it spent on expensive apparel for the entire Palin family instead of being used to get McCain elected, and because McCain decided he didn't know who he was anymore when he turned 70. Maybe it was having birthday cake with Bush while a city drowned that caused some kind of personality disorder. It's as if he lost the capacity to be a maverick the day he started calling himself one. Also, George W. Bush is the worst President in US history, and his whole party has proven to be poisonous.
Q: Why are there people who support Sarah Palin?
A: Because they don't understand that candidates should be qualified to perform the duties of the offices they run for, or what 'qualified' means.
Q: Isn't that kind of subjective? And prickish? Isn't a FAQ supposed to be factual?
A: Woah, woah, woah. One at a time.
Q: Let me change subjects.
A: Okay.
Q: Isn't it wonderful that now truly anyone can grow up to be President?
A: It sure is. Anyone but a homosexual, that is. Or an atheist. Or a Jew, probably. I'd imagine there are a number of fringe faiths that would disqualify you too, like Scientology, or that space-alien sneaker suicide cult.
Q: Lieberman is a Jew, and he was nearly President.
A: True, he was Gore's running mate, and based on actual votes they won. So I guess a Jew really could probably grow up to be President. Mazeltov! But still--not a gay or atheist.
Q: Why did Alaska have the lowest voter turnout ever in a Presidential election?
A: No idea. I'm not even sure that's true. I've got an educated guess, though.
Q: It's true. What's your guess?
A: Seems like an obvious case of fraud to me.
Q: What are you complaining about? Obama won!
A: Yeah, true. I'm just old-fashioned, I guess. I still think votes should be counted properly. Counting isn't that hard to do.
06 November, 2008
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1 comments:
Alaska is special, or so we're told. I'm not sure what that means, really, but from what I've read it means that they're retarded. Not in a came-by-it-honestly way like genetics, but rather a toxic brew of corruption, a sense of entitlement and the raw stupidity of a people who live where baby Jesus clearly does not want them to live. I mean, the fucking sun doesn't come up for up to two months in the state. That's the universe's way of saying, "LIVE SOMEWHERE ELSE".
Anyway, yes, fraud is the most likely cause. Palin was proven to have caused ethics violations, and Stevens is a convicted felon, but Alaskans still love them. I'd say that getting away with stealing an election wouldn't even raise an eyebrow.
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